Key Considerations When Planning To Retire Overseas With
School-aged Children
Retiring Overseas With Children
July 20, 2009
Panama City, Panama
PLUS:
- Why You May Need A Note From Mom To Travel To Belize...
- Health Care Costs In Malaysia And Thailand...
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Dear Overseas Opportunity Letter Reader,
My daughter Kaitlin, age 9 at the time, cried herself to sleep every night during our first year living in Waterford, Ireland. She was fiercely opposed to the idea of leaving her grandmother, her cousins, her friends, and her school in Baltimore behind, and she made sure we were painfully aware of that fact every single day. "You've ruined my life!" she'd sob night after night as she fled from the dinner table to her bedroom and slammed the door.
My husband Lief and I, of course, thought we were doing precisely the opposite. We believed we were enriching Kaitlin's life and expanding her horizons. But, I have to admit, some nights I'd lie awake wondering if maybe Kaitlin wasn't right. Maybe launching a new life in a foreign country at age 9 would translate into years of psychotherapy down the road.
Our first year in Paris it was Kaitlin's little brother Jackson, age 4 at the time, born in Ireland, who struggled through the transition. "Give him six weeks," his preschool teacher advised me every morning when I dropped him off. "At this age, he'll adapt very quickly. In six weeks, he'll speak French, and he'll be fine. You'll see."
Meantime, every morning, as I'd turn to leave, Jackson would wrap his arms around my ankles, crying and begging, "Please don't make me stay here! I can't find my French voice, and nobody here has an English voice." I'd pull myself free and race out the door and down the street, fighting back tears myself and wondering, again, if this moving around the world with kids thing was really such a good idea. Six agonizing weeks later, though, and, volia, seemingly overnight, Jackson spoke French. He'd adjusted; he'd made friends.
In truth, our lifestyle has been easier for Jack to handle than for Kaitlin. While Jack was born into it, Kaitlin might say she was yanked. On the other hand, it was Kaitlin's idea to move from Waterford to Paris. Kids in Ireland take what is called a "Gap Year" at age 15, between what would be their freshman and sophomore years of high school in the States. For this year, many study or take internships abroad. As they approached their Gap Year, Kaitlin's friends began making plans to attend school in the U.S., Britain, and elsewhere. Kaitlin decided she'd like to spend the year in Paris.
We'd been enjoying Irish country life but, by this time, we were wanting for more cosmopolitan distractions. We took Kaitlin's suggestion, therefore, as an opportunity for another family move. In the essay Kaitlin prepared as part of her admissions application for St. Johns College in Annapolis three years later, she wrote, "I fought against my family's move to Ireland and resisted life in that country completely. But, if not for Ireland, probably not Paris. And I can't imagine now not having had the chance to live in Paris..."
Kaitlin continues her higher education in the States but begrudgingly. As soon as she's finished her studies, she's made it clear, she intends to find a way to return to Paris. For Kaitlin, this city has become home.
Jack enjoyed Paris and is happy today living in Panama, where he's learned to speak Spanish not in six weeks but in about six months. However, ask Jackson where home is, and he'll tell you Ireland. That's where the 9-year-old insists he'll return when he's grown up.
The advantages of raising children abroad are many, from a second (or even third) language to a second passport. Children raised overseas are generally self-confident, open-minded, and resourceful. They learn to make friends easily and to adjust quickly to change.
That's not to say raising kids in another country is easy. If you're considering making an international move with children, they, specifically, the options for their education, become your priority. Moving with children also means you must move full-time or, at least, that you must schedule your part-time life in your chosen haven around their school calendar.
The fundamental education choice you must make is whether to send your child to a local school (where, unless you're moving to Belize or Ireland, for example, he'll need to learn to speak the local language fluently), to a bilingual international school (where he'll have the opportunity to learn the new language but will take classes, as well, in his native tongue), or to an American or British school (where he'll be largely insulated from the local culture and community).
In Ireland, Kaitlin attended a local private school. In Paris, we enrolled Jack in the local public school. (In France, public schools are more highly regarded than private ones. Kids gets kicked out of public school for not meeting study or discipline standards, not vice versa.) In Panama, Jackson is attending the French school, so that he can keep his French and so that, if we return to Paris, as we intend, before he's finished his undergraduate studies, he'll be able to slide easily back into the French system.
In other words, just as we've chosen to go local with our lifestyle overseas, so, too, we've gone local with our children's education. Why drag the kid to a new country only to enroll him in a school that could as easily sit in any U.S. suburb? We considered this question head-on in Paris, where the American School of Paris was one of our options for Kaitlin's education in this city. Kaitlin and I visited together, and we both had the same reaction. The American School of Paris could be the American School of Any American Town. Every student is from the States, as is every member of the faculty. English is the only language spoken. The curriculum, the calendar, the special events, everything about the school is as it would be Stateside. Nothing wrong with this, per se, but it seemed a shame to us for Kaitlin to miss the chance to learn French, to make friends from all over the world, and to become part of the Paris teenager scene.
Another plus of going local with your child's schooling overseas is the cost. In most of the world (unlike in France), the local public schools probably don't offer the standard of education you're looking for. You'll be delighted, therefore, to learn that private schools in many countries are a bargain compared with the cost of private schools in the States. Kaitlin attended l'Ecole Active Bilingue in Paris, where she earned an IB (International Baccalaureate) degree (the international equivalent of a high school diploma). The tuition was about $6,000 per year. Tuition at Jackson's private French school in Panama City is about $3,000 per year. At Kaitlin's private elementary school in Waterford, Ireland, the tuition was less than $2,000 per year.
In addition to schooling options, moving with children you also must consider health care and local kid-friendly opportunities. Are there parks, playgrounds, private tutors, and places where the child could go to study the guitar, to learn to dance, or to take karate lessons?
Likewise, residency options. With a child, you can't easily reside under the radar. I don't recommend residing overseas without proper papers under any circumstances, of course, but, over the years, I've known expats in France, Panama, Thailand, and elsewhere who've never gotten around to legalizing their stays. Often, this is not a big deal. With school-aged children, it can be more difficult. This restriction, especially, can take a number of countries off the list of options, as it would be difficult or even impossible to organize legal residency for you and your family.
Kathleen Peddicord
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