Nov. 3, 2009
Casco Viejo, Panama
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Dear Live and Invest Overseas Reader,
Our first friends in Ireland were tradesmen. Lief and I both were working full-time, departing for the office early each morning and returning home in time for dinner each evening, leaving little opportunity for socializing. Whatever free time I had our first two years in the country I invested in renovating and then furnishing and decorating the old house in the country we'd bought to make our new home. The general contractor for the project, Noel, the crew Noel brought on board to carry out the work, the cabinet-maker John we engaged to build our new kitchen and the bookcases for the library, the architect David who drafted plans for converting one of the barns into a guest house, these people became our closest friends in Waterford, and we stay in contact with them still.
I like old houses the way some women like new shoes. They're a hobby for me, my preferred preoccupation. In Noel, John, and David, I found kindred souls. We enjoyed our long days together tearing out walls and building in bookcases.
How do you like to spend your free time? Whatever your favorite hobby, you'll find like-minded enthusiasts in your new home, if you make the effort to seek them out. This is the best way to begin to build a new circle of friends in your new home overseas, wherever you eventually decide to make it.
In addition, worldwide, general expat organizations welcome new members. Friend Lucy Culpepper, living in the south of France, recommends the International Women's Club (known as the WIC,
www.internationalwomensclub.org), a group of expat women who meet monthly. Many nationalities are represented, including French, English, German, Dutch, American, and Danish. In France, where Lucy belongs to the WIC, the monthly meetings are conducted in English and French, and the annual membership fee is US$38. The husbands of WIC members also go on excursions and organize regular meetings.
In addition to fellow expats living in your new hometown, though, you also want to make an effort to get to know your local neighbors. To meet locals, hang out where they do. Eat at the restaurant where they eat. Learn basic phrases--for example, "It's hot out today"--as conversation-starters. Even such a simple gesture will get you a smile, a friendly response, and maybe a new friend.
In France, our first local friends were the parents of Kaitlin and Jack's classmates at school. Again, we were working full-time and had little time for random socializing, but we made time for parent-teacher meetings and other school functions. As Kaitlin and Jack made friends, they were invited to birthday parties and play-dates and wanted to invite their new playmates over to our apartment. We made friend with the parents of our childrens' friends by default and, through them, were introduced to others in our neighborhood.
I have to admit, though, that our local friend-making efforts in Ireland and France were limited. Not so the efforts of my friend Thom.
Thom, a perpetual solo-traveler, made an art and a science of making friends in new places. Thom liked music and played the six-string. He carried his guitar with him wherever he went, through airports, train stations, and hotel lobbies all over the world.
Before arriving in a new town, Thom would research local live-music venues on the Internet. Shortly after arrival, he'd stop in at one, sit down at the bar, strike up a conversation with the bar tender, and, soon enough, have been invited to pull out his guitar and play a little. Thom kept all these music-lover's venues and contacts in his cell phone. As soon as he made the acquaintance of a barkeep, a doorman, a club proprietor, or a fellow musician anywhere in the world, he'd ask the fellow (or lady) to type in his (or her) name and phone number into his phone. Thom coded the entries in such a way that he could search them by location. Next time he arrived in town, he'd call up these local resources and friends. And, this time, when he showed up for Open Mic Night at any of the venues where he'd already introduced himself, he'd be greeted, as he walked through the door, with a hearty, "Hey, Thom! You're back! Did you bring your guitar?"
Thom had cards printed with his name and cell phone number. These he handed out everywhere he went. Each time he gave someone one of his cards, he'd make a note on the back--"This is Thom, the guy who likes to play guitar"...or "This is Thom, the guy you met in Club Such-and-Such."
Thom came to visit us in Ireland often. After his first couple of stays, when I'd accompany him for a night out, I was shamed. We'd open the door to Geoff's, for example, one of Thom's preferred pubs in Waterford City, and everyone in the place, nearly in unison, would shout, "Thom!" I'd been living in the country for more than two years at this point. No one in Geoff's knew me by name, but everyone knew Thom.
Here in Panama now we're working hard not to re-make the mistakes of our previous international relocation experiences. Here in Panama we're making sure to make time to enjoy our new neighbors.
Which is why I must run. Right now our neighbors are all out on their front balconies and front steps enjoying the show. See below...
Kathleen Peddicord
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The celebrating is picking up speed here in Panama. From the balcony of our home in Panama City's old town Casco Viejo, we have a front-row seat for today's festivities in honor of this country's independence from Colombia in 1903. All morning, we've enjoyed the sounds of drums and horns and polished black boots marching along the red brick pavement, plus dancers and young girls parading gleefully in crisp white
polleras.
Lief and I had intended to spend the day in the office but abandoned the idea when we realized all the fun taking place just outside our front door. I'd like to say we'll be back at our desks tomorrow, but I fear we may be waylaid again, for tomorrow is Flag Day!
"Kathleen, I was just reading the
Canadian's question about Americans abroad and Canadians in Cuba. I've spent a fair amount of time in
Cuba (13 visits), and I have friends there, in and out of the government, and friends who do business, so to speak, with Cuba. It's not for the faint of heart. Cuba is trying even if you're well accustomed to putting up with Latin America and the Caribbean. Because this isn't Latin America or the Caribbean. It's Cuba. Access to the Internet is restricted, and the government changes the rules for doing business...for everything...often. It is frustrating, to say the least.
"Yes, the Canadians are liked and accepted. On the other hand, they built the airport and got stiffed by Castro, hence the high airport departure tax to pay for it.
"I once thought I could live there, but I've realized that it'd be impossible. Right now, for example, I'm supplying an El Salvadorean friend with car parts to take to another friend in Havana, because our friend in Havana can't source them any other way.
"Will things ever change? Maybe in another generation, when the revolutionaries are gone and their children have become Rummies (Rich Urban Marxists) and have all the toys they've been envying.
"Today, though, anyone with an exit visa leaves for Spain tomorrow. Alas, poor Cuba."
-- Michael S., Guatemala
"Just a warning. I moved to
Bangkok in 1972 and at that time never managed to spend less than US$1,500 per month. Today I guess it would be at least two or three times that amount. The US$775 you mention can be easily spent on a dinner for two with some wine in one of the top restaurants.
"You also write, 'And the living in this part of the world is not only bargain priced, it's also interesting, exotic, and increasingly foreign resident-friendly.'
"I agree to the 'interesting, exotic' part, but 'increasingly foreign resident-friendly' is outright wrong when you talk about Thailand. Many long-term expats are preparing to leave 'The Land of Smiles' as they are afraid of what is going to happen to foreigners (and Thailand) after the King dies. By the way, the famous smiles are not always a sign of friendliness but are more often used to hide embarrassment and insecurity."
-- Peter R., Bali
Indeed...that's why we write not of Bangkok but of Chiang Mai in our recent
Overseas Retirement Letter report. As we remind you often, dear reader, you've got to thin-slice your retirement options. Bangkok isn't Chiang Mai isn't Phuket, and the cost of living in each of these Thailand locales can vary dramatically. The US$775 a month budget we discuss in our report is for Chiang Mai, specifically.
And, as you say, Thailand probably wouldn't qualify as increasingly user-friendly from a long-term residency point of view...but Malaysia would.
More here.
