“Competitive conversations.” My Dad used to say that the three Woodruff boys were always involved in “competitive conversations.” The volume increased around the dinner table when the boys sat down. We weren’t angry. We were just brothers trying to convince each other of the truth in our passionate perspectives and opinions.
The other day I realized my Dad would feel at home in Portugal. Neighbors across the street were involved in an animated, loud conversation. I understand Portuguese now. They were just talking about what a good meal grandma prepared on Easter Sunday… along with best wishes for a good week.
But if I didn’t know Portuguese, I would have been concerned that an argument was breaking out. Quick, call for support! Police! Paramedics! What’s going on?!?
But wait, gentle readers. We’re here to tell you that a high-pitched, loud voice is frequently used in daily Portuguese conversations. It doesn’t indicate anger or hostility, but rather passion and emotion. North American speakers need to retrain our deeply ingrained cultural habit to not believe that the conversation has turned angry. We needed to retrain our ears, so to speak.
In Portuguese culture, volume is often a sign of engagement and passion, not hostility. Exactly like the Woodruff boys back in northern Minnesota.
Jeff and I have noticed a couple of conversational patterns.
First, there’s a “vibe” to Portuguese conversations. If it is loud, it usually means the participants are genuinely interested in the topic. Silence or a very soft tone actually often means boredom, indifference, or even being “cold.”
Second, everything overlaps. Portuguese speakers often talk over each other. To an outsider, this looks like an argument; to locals, it is a collaborative way of showing you are listening and have something to contribute to the “energy” of the room.
We’ve learned from our Portuguese language classes that the language itself plays a huge role in how it sounds to foreign ears. I liken it to the northern Minnesota dialect made famous by the Coen Brothers’ movie, Fargo. “Ya sure, don’tcha know.” European Portuguese is much the same. It is a stress-timed language… with guttural sounds.
What is a stress-timed language? Portuguese speakers “swallow” certain vowels and hit the stressed syllables very hard. The northern Minnesota dialect that I grew up with and Russian are the same—remember those Cold War spy movies we watched
Portuguese has many guttural sounds. Sounds that we do not have in English. The frequent use of “sh” sounds and closed vowels can give European Portuguese a staccato or harsh quality that people from smoother, more melodic language backgrounds (like Italian or Brazilian Portuguese) might mistake for sternness.
We’ve noticed there is a cultural bluntness in Portugal that can be jarring. The Portuguese don’t sugar-coat their opinions. Portuguese tend to be very direct and assertive in their speech. They may say “no” or “that’s wrong” without the softening phrases used in North America.
Because the Portuguese value authenticity, they don’t always feel the need to maintain a “customer service voice.” If they are excited, they sound excited. If they are debating, they sound like they are winning a trial.
We also should mention proximity/personal space. The Portuguese “personal bubble” is smaller than North America. The social distancing the Portuguese heroically followed during the pandemic years certainly went against the norm.
People stand closer together when they talk in Portugal. Everyone leans in for emphasis. When you combine physical closeness, high volume, and hand gestures it can feel like “aggressive” behavior to someone who prefers more personal space.
One of our local friends explained, “We are a very excitable bunch of loving people.”
After six years living in Portugal, Jeff and I agree. The Portuguese are a “loving people.” And that is indeed the nicest part of our lives here.
Sincerely,
Joch Woodruff
Portugal Circle Liaison
