Cordon Bleu pastry chef, Frédéric Hoël, held up two handfuls of dough, one that you could have mistaken for a neatly folded (albeit miniature) sheet in a linen store… the other more closely resembled a half-deflated air mattress that someone tried to fold before it was fully emptied.
“This is good,” he proclaimed, holding the neat stack up high.
“This is bad,” hoisting up the messy pile. “It will not work.” He shook his head darkly.
We giggled nervously and looked around at one another… who among us 12 or so novices had created the failure dough? Who was the phenom? Only time would tell.
Learning as an adult can be hard… humbling, even.
My pastry-making class at the Cordon Bleu here in Paris was a good reminder that no beginner is ever good at anything. And before you become good at something, the learning process is a challenge all itself.
Living overseas, there’s a learning curve that can’t be denied, and it’s compounded by all the other things you have to learn at the same time—as you plan your move you have to learn about residency options, tax consequences, health care and insurance availability…
And then once you arrive you also likely have to learn a new language, how to get around in your new home, become familiar with a new culture, be taught how to properly eat a new cuisine… and so much more that you won’t even guess at before arriving.
Plus, there’s just the simple fact that learning later in life is… uncomfortable, at least, if not more difficult. You’re not used to being “bad” at things once you’re an accomplished adult. You’re not used to being a beginner anymore.
And, frankly, it’s not the best feeling to be the underdog… to always feel like you’re behind, trying to catch up.
But it does pass—as long as you put in a consistent effort—and bit by bit, you realize you are getting better… that you’re no longer the newbie… that you’re becoming more and more comfortable.
This is true of anything new that we start to do routinely, be it a sport, an art form, a cooking technique, a computer program, a new remote control, a new route to work… etc.
I’ve recently adopted a new life motto: Get comfortable being uncomfortable.
So much of what we don’t like in life is simply discomfort. We become used to our routines, our friends, our home, our favorite foods, our way of life… and once we do, we don’t like to try new things.
Because it wouldn’t be as easy… it would be uncomfortable. (Hence the proverbial comfort zone.)
In the fitness world, this is called “plateauing.” You do the same workout so much that your body no longer sees it as a workout—it’s no longer a challenge, it’s just an everyday activity. Your body takes it in stride and you cease to gain muscle or lose weight, maybe even put some more back on.
To overcome this inevitable pitfall, any good fitness trainer knows you need to change things regularly.
Which doesn’t feel good.
You have to push your body to do something it doesn’t usually do, so it feels awkward, it hurts, it burns, your joints pop, breathing is difficult… and none of that is desirable in itself.
More than anything, though, it’s just uncomfortable. Because a week later, your body is used to it and you don’t feel the way you did that first day.
You’ve become comfortable being uncomfortable.
Moving to Europe will certainly have you uncomfortable plenty of the time—but that’s the whole point of your live-overseas fantasy, isn’t it?
To no longer eat the same foods every day, take the same street home…
What pushed you to make this leap is the excitement of meeting new people, trying new things, and be challenged by a new way of life—to stop living on autopilot.
Moving to Europe, you are as literally as possible getting out of your comfort zone.
So don’t fret that it takes time to adapt and integrate… to figure out exactly which part of town you want to live in… which local delicacy to relish (and which, perhaps, to avoid)…
In the beginning, anything new you do is uncomfortable—including living overseas—you just have to keep at it. (Like me making disastrous croissants…)
I’m not saying that learning can’t be fun and rewarding, it should always be both of those things. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t challenging… and a challenge is by definition uncomfortable.
When it comes to moving to Europe, there’s no shortage of things to learn and be taught, and while it can be uncomfortable, perhaps even overwhelming, there are some things you can do to give yourself a head start, things we talk about here regularly: ask for referrals, do your own research and due diligence, visit in person at all times of year, rent before you buy, etc.
But the ultimate way to streamline the process is to learn in person. If you’re planning a move to Europe, the best thing you can do to educate yourself is to hire a tutor.
To learn from someone who has the time to explain everything in full detail and to whom you can ask all your questions as they arise—or, even better, many someones…
Those who are professional experts in their fields in your new home…
And those who have come before you—expats who have already been through the ringer…
Which is exactly what we deliver and our Live And Invest Conferences and this week’s France Workshop is no exception. It’s happening online this Thursday, May 15. You’ll find all the details here.
I’m excited to be connecting with our team of in-country experts to share all that life in this Old World great has to offer.
I’ll be dialing in from my home in Paris. I hope you can join in the fun from wherever in the world you are and look forward to connecting with you online on Thursday.
Bonne route,
Kat Kalashian
Editor, In Focus: Europe
